My final post

It's been a long time since I've been able to get to this blog! I wish I could show you the number of pages "blog" has been written on my to-do list.   It may seem shady, but I'm going to play the "I had a baby" card.  

This little baby has been the sweetest little treat to steal my brain power since the last little baby and I haven't fully recovered my brain from him!  But man, it's so worth it.  That little sticker says "1 month".  How does one month move so fast and so slow at the same time??

Anyway, now that my school year has come to an end, so has my CTEPS experience.

My initial “ask” for my project had been that teachers will take risk in literacy instruction based on the most recent best practice research. During the process, I expected to lead a professional development within my building based on the results of our classroom research.  However, within the school year, all teachers in our building took risks alongside us, and my “ask” was granted beyond what I even expected.  Now, our district is using the research and ideas from our process and extended upon them.  We have a leadership group (sooo many smart people) created of administrators and classroom teachers to create a “literacy playbook” that will be utilized district-wide.   Yes, a book! This is something we began in January and now the group is finishing as my baby and brain are resting. I cannot wait to see the final product!

Rather than end this experience quietly, I feel moved to start a new mission. It would be too easy to stop now, right? Two toddlers, a newborn, a new position at school, zero sleep....sure, I'll start a new movement, too!  

My (new) final product’s purpose or “ask” is to discuss with my superintendent ways to support, recruit, and hopefully sponsor CTEPS teachers within our district.  To help with my presentation, I have made the following infographic to guide my discussion. Here is a link to it, so that you can download it for yourself!

The year that I was a National Board Teacher Candidate was the first year that changed my outlook on education. The whole classroom and everything I did inside it had more purpose and passion. The year that I completed CTEPS was the second year that has changed my outlook on education. Now the entire education system is something I have more purpose and more passion. Maybe I will have an impact outside sweet Junction City, and maybe I won't; but, the fact that I feel like I can is enough for me. This feeling is strength. Teachers that feel strength are unstoppable. Hopefully more teachers around me will experience CTEPS. Until then, my mission is to let CTEPS live through me so that any teacher working with me recognizes, feels, and is confident to use their super powers.

District Leadership

Ya'll....I hate to keep bragging because I hope that I don't jinx myself in the future, but I work in an incredibly supportive and innovative district.  Based on an email that I sent to our superintendent to share about CTEPS and the Design Thinking Process, he not only sent a very excited email to me asking for more information but also to speak at this month's district leadership meeting.  He wants to talk to our fearless leader and see where this all can take our district! How awesome!  

The news that people are talking about CTEPS and the Design Thinking Process is most amazing.  My presentation was...eh...I did my best.  Being nervous and 8 months pregnant made for a very short of breath and sweaty mess.  BUT, the conversation is started.  Here is what I shared with them...hopefully the link and links within work.  If not, please ask and I'll share it personally.
**I also have limited text on each screen.  (We had a great webinar of how to speak to adults, so I tried to apply it!)  If you want to see my notes pages that guided what I actually said, again, please feel free to ask.  I'm happy to share.  

My presentation 

I was able to use information for the presentations I was given during CTEPS meetings.   All credit due was given.  At no point was this an "I did" show.  As much as possible, I wanted to emphasize the collaboration of the sponsors, collaboration of our leaders, the collaboration of our large and small groups, and also include the Design Thinking Process.  Because I was so nervous, I'm not sure of what I said.  However, I did receive some very nice feedback in person and via email throughout the day from people in the room.  

At the end of my presentation, our superintendent asked me "How has this made an impact on you?"  My answer, "Personally and professionally I view problems differently.  I ask why before how.  I ask for help and ask lots of questions.  What's been wonderful is getting to know this about myself:  that I can maintain a project and see progress with a vision, but have no real clear picture of how it ends.  The most awesome results have happened because I'm able to allow whatever to happen, whereas before, if it wasn't part of 'my plan' it wasn't going to happen so there were lots of missed opportunities for awesomeness.  Now there whole process has become an adventure with lots of great systems and ideas occurring!"
**If that's not what I said word for word, I hope that this was in my answer somewhere....I was very nervous. 

Who knew that ideas to improve literacy would lead to a school initiative, then a district initiative, and on now to spreading the love of CTEPS and Design Thinking?  Again, I recognize my luck and appreciate every second.  I feel like I keep saying that and this:  I'm so excited to see what happens next!

THE TIMELINE

Within this infographic, it is important to note that I chose a curved line as our timeline.  The project has taken many turns...all of which were unpredicted by me.  I also want to highlight that without a mutually respectful and innovative team of teachers and administrators these turns would not have occurred.  The culture of collaboration among admin and teachers in my district is what's causing so much action and change for our students.  How lucky am I?!?

The end of the timeline, at this point, shows a big question mark.  I have a general idea of where we're (notice "we"..."I" began a project this year, "we" are finishing it) going now, but no way to label any steps.

This post will be updated as the timeline has become  more clear.  Isn't that exciting!?!

Change. Confusion. Inspiration.

Have you ever made a grand outline of a project or even a simple narrative, only to begin that project or piece of writing and completely re-route yourself as your typing?  It's as if your hands and brain are not completely connected.  Tonight, my hands are typing and my brain continues to argue about what to write.  Hands say "just do it", while brain says "maybe we need to think about it, maybe write another plan?"

I wanted to do this post originally as a practice round for my final product.   My original plan was to create an infographic outlining the main events of this process with a link to my blog, photos, etc.  However, after tonight's CTEPS session, I'm considering this blog to be my main product with the other pieces (infographics, videos, podcasts, images, etc.) as posts!  Maybe?! So now I'm not sure what my next steps are?

In the beginning of my project, I wanted to create a system within the co-teaching classroom I was in that allowed for 2 years growth for the students within that classroom.  They needed it.  Because of the work completed in that classroom, my principal began working with me to spread and research ways to scale ideas throughout the building so that all students needing that much growth could experience it.  When that started happening, the district leadership began asking how can we scale these ideas so that all students in our district experience this level of growth.

To say I've been inspired is an understatement.  Inspired by colleague teachers willing to take on innovative ideas, administrators and district level leadership willing to jump in with both feet to help me understand this project, and the support of coaches and teachers from across the state in my CTEPS group to help someone they barely knew because education is their passion.

I've been completely changed by this process and usually I can see that coming or have made plans for that to happen.  So, as I type, my brain is still going "What is happening?  How is this all happening?" while my hands are confident enough to say "It's happening because it is.  Accept it.  Keep it going."

Self, us, now ...my story and my ask. (A first draft)

During our second CTEPS adventure, my favorite project was listening to the stories of other teachers that inspired them to be teachers, or to be leaders, or to begin a movement.  I was in tears, in laughter, and complete awe of these people.  When it was my turn to think of my big moment, I was blank.  What has been my inspirational moment?  What adversity have I really faced?  What made the difference for me?  When your constant focus is on moving forward, when do you have time to look back?  Why look back?  As you can see, this was not easy for me.  At the end of it all, I have a story.  It's not a tear jerker or even goose bump worthy.  It's my first draft of my first story.  Although I'm still working on my stories and still working on the process of looking back, I am excited about the process and excited about where this takes me. 

Here goes...another vulnerable moment in the CTEPS arena.

During a young year of teaching,  I had the year of what I called the "bad boys".   Without question (of course) I ended up with a group of kiddos that knew a lot of vocabulary and information above their sweet 8 year old maturity levels.  As I began complaining (and crying) to my mom, she reminded me (unapologetically in her best I love you but don't feel sorry for you voice) that I don't get to pick what seeds go into this garden, but I do get to decide if I want a good or great garden.  It's up to my choices as to how I handle each day, and how this year was going to run.  So, without my mom even to feel sorry for me, what excuses could I make?  This is the year I really felt that I became a content master because you better believe I was going to be ready for a question.  I also HAD to become an expert on relationships and their impact on classroom management.  In the midst of this, it became easy to become overwhelmed.  Very overwhelmed.  I had to be on my game at all time every day, which is hard even in the best circumstances.  But, I was determined. These kids were going to be great.  This was going to be a great year (insert my dad's voice "By Golly).   As I became worn down and unsure of myself, I looked around for support or for someone to notice or to offer advice.  While I was able to receive this from my co-teacher and my principal and my counselor, it was clear that some of my peers were waiting for me to fail...almost as a way to prove a point to this "young, naive, rookie".   

As I'm working on individual notes for their desks, I would hear "Why are you wasting your time?"  

As I ate lunch with the "bad boys", I would hear "Awww, aren't you sweet.  Wait until you've taught for a few years."

As I played soccer at recess with these kiddos, I would hear laughter.

As I ran through the room to make sure I had attention and formative data, I would hear "Good thing you're young! You won't do that after a few more years."

As I would leave in the afternoons usually around 4 (an hour after dismissal), I would hear, "How do you leave so early? You must not be working as hard as we do. What makes you so special?"

As my data on assessments was better than my teammates, I was not asked "What did you do to get such great data?". However, I was asked "Are you sure that's real data, or did you change some of it?"

And so on....

 I pushed on and depended completely on what my students were showing on assessments and what they were showing me in behavior.  When I heard these things, I wanted to cry and make an excuse and call my mom.  Granted, I did not reach out to those who were supporting me and there were A LOT of great people to talk to in that place.... awww...the lessons I would tell myself if I could go back. Ultimately, though, no one was going to feel sorry for me.  Least of all, those kids.  So, on we went.  

And, I have to say at the end of that year, we had 100% score on or above grade level in reading and math.   Most importantly, I learned what it meant to manage time and make decisions for kids.  Without excuses, I felt invincible.  The next year, I began my National Board Certification journey and have never looked back.

Oprah says, "Believe people when they show you who they are...the first time." When I read this the emphasis is on the word "show".  Time and schedules and plans can be beautiful, but what's actually happening is what you can believe really matters.  Kids know that.  They can only see what is shown to them.  

My Mam-Maw said to me once, "Betty Jo, excuses hang in a closet like coats.  You can pull them out as quickly as you want and when one doesn't work you try another one."  She was giving me advice on men at the time with the message of: 

 and to pay attention to those that make excuses.  If you're not worth their time, keep moving.

And then there way this....

Without excuses and with a sense of urgency, time in a school day becomes precious and the choices we make in how to use each minute is the key to making the biggest difference in students.  

When I leave at 4:00, or shock, 3:00 it's not because something has been left undone.  I choose to work my hardest when the students are in front of me.  I choose to make each minute count.  I choose to assess and reflect and react in the moment. This requires me to choose students over social moments most times, and choose time in the classroom over time in the hallways.  This requires my planning process to be very intentional and hyper focused.  Some days are longer than others, yes, but not every day.  Lots of choices.  But, that's my power. And, those choices make sure that something big could happen in my classroom.  

Rather than judge these teachers, ask "How are you getting out so early?" "What does your data look like?" "Is what you're doing something I can do, too?"  

Rather than make excuses, make decisions.  Decisions that require you to spend more time in your classroom with kids than you do in your classroom without kids.  Why are you at school at 6:00?  What are you doing during these hours that can occur between 8:00 and 3:00....when kids are in front of you?  

My project is all about literacy instruction and how the time and teacher make the difference.  No program, no money, no certain school....but the decisions and management of the teacher.  The value and power of the teacher CAN create the growth needed for any student needing between one and two years worth growth, as long as the teacher is willing to have no excuses.  

I think this story could lead into my next story of how easy my life could be consumed by the teaching process, or maybe that's part of this story.  Anyway...this is my beginning story and something I hope I come back to improve.  

Second CTEPS Adventure

Oh yea!  Besides all the bonuses of getting to see my CTEPS friends and attend ECET2KY, I got to spend a night to myself and enjoy week 30 of this baby bump.  It's amazing how much more I felt this baby moving when it was just the two of us.  

The relaxation and time alone was necessary...and not because I needed time away from my 3 and 2 year old boys, but because my brain was on overload.  The CTEPS system, environment, being surrounded by inspiring people is EXHAUSTING and also the most awesome experience in professional learning. 

Take a look at the messiness (and excitement) of moving forward....

*Disclaimer* I'm sure there's a way to make this "pretty" or neat, but there is something about getting out a box of markers and big paper and writing it all out that my brain craves.  Instead of transferring it all to a tech doc, I'm letting you see my thinking in the raw.  Please excuse the handwriting...it's my thinking in action.  

Here are my notes before critical friends...

These are my notes after the "critical friends" session...

Now, the work of finishing this project is here.  With the movement in my building (and now in the district) I have to say that my thinking mind is trying really hard to keep up with the excitement and ideas flowing though my brain.   There is a real movement happening right now, and it's only because I'm surrounded by support in CTEPS, in my district, and in my school.    The final outcome is something I still can't see, but I know is going to make  difference for kids and teachers in a big way.

Leadership

When you begin your day looking at these faces and asked: 

"Which leader do you most identify with? 

Which leader do you least identify with?

you know it's going to be a pretty inspirational day.  

I have Mother Teresa quotes posted all over my office space, (which leads me to add a quality to her list of that she sees the best and believes the best in all people) I tune into Steve Jobs videos to listen  to him speak, I read and listen to Oprah with urgency; yet, while most people in the room were able to immediately circle their choices, I had a difficult time with the decision.  The truth is, I'm not sure.  We had ten minutes to decide.  Instead of deciding, I couldn't help but get excited at the awe I feel for each of these people.  It's almost like someone went into my head and pulled all the people out that inspire me.  I started listing the qualities of each person that I want to emulate, but I couldn't at all feel strong enough in my leadership ways to decide that I actually identify with any of them.  Me?  Compared to one of these people?   Maybe I'm over thinking, maybe I can blame indecisiveness of the pregnancy ...but ultimately upon given leadership opportunities I hope that I am or I become my own picture on this page.  Hopefully, I can encompass what inspires me about each of these people.